Self-Confidence [a how-to guide] | MKE Year 3 Week 2

Self-confidence is not found in the perfect pair of jeans … it’s not having the sickest vehicle … or being amazing at school sports … It’s not about the perfect job … or spouse … or dog … or pencil crayon collection, etc. etc. etc.

Self-confidence is a mindset. Good news about that is: it doesn’t cost any money … doesn’t require any talent … and you don’t need any special equipment.

Keep in mind that developing yourself is a process – much like flat abs, it’s not going to show up without some serious effort on your part. Here are a couple things, in no particular order, that I’ve found useful along my own journey. None are more important than the others, so I’ve listed them all as #1.

I wrote them with an open heart – I hope you’ll receive them with an open mind.

#1: Smile

Screen Shot 2017-12-01 at 11.20.09 AMLearning to like the person in the mirror difficult because most people have spent but instead of trying to get diapers or avoiding the barrel together try something as simple as a smile. Bill Tabing to a complement hate you look nice cute dress good job on your make up can’t find anything nice to say to yourself perhaps you can complement good job we did growing up eye balls or how nice your hair is growing or something…anything positive will do.

Not so sure yet?

Eventually, liking the person in the mirror I promise will need to loving the person in the mirror. You’ve just spent a lot of time disliking the person staring back at you…so it’s only logical that you’re not going to fall back in love with yourself overnight.

It will come, I promise. Give it time.

#1: Be Gentle With Yourself

Go easy on yourself. Don’t beat yourself up, and stop trying to be perfect.

Will it really affect your future if you miss a deadline, or or if the kids had to get take-out for lunch because you didn’t remember to pack lunches?

Understand that you’re just one person, and people have limits. It’s okay to have limits. Actually, limits are healthy.

When you can control your internal dialogue, the rest seems to fall into place. It’s got something to do with vibration – which I’ll write about in a few weeks – basically, we all attract things into our lives based on what we think about and what we feel…and it is Universal law that our vibration can only attract similar vibrations. If we think of our vibration like the keys on a piano – pressing a D-minor key but expecting an A-sharp sound to be produced would be ridiculous, right?!

Quit comparing yourself to others – and just do you.

You are Natures Greatest Miracle.

You’ve got this. 

#1: Say Nice Things

The world is not out to get you. If something goes wrong in your day, don’t beat yourself up about it. For example if the dog food delivery doesn’t get there on time, or you wake up and it’s cloudy, or traffic is unusually heavy during your commute.

The default story you tell yourself might be something like:

“Go figure, bad stuff always happens to me”.

I call this a grumble grumble grumble mindset and one that will only bring you more of the same.

Words have power. Especially the ones you say to yourself.

I suggest making a list of the Top 10 things you like about yourself…ready it three times daily. If you’re not sure what to write – ask a child what they like best about you…they’re honest and haven’t yet learned how to lie so you’ll get a clear answer.

As a kid, my grandma always used to tell me

“If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all.”

She also told me that eating mushrooms would make my boobs grow. Clearly, she knew what she was talking about.

Rather than remaining mired in negativity, try saying – or thinking – something positive. Immediately. Saying nice things will help re-train your brain by reprogramming the neuro pathways so that next time the same or similar experiences happen, your default memory will be positive. In my opinion and from experience, when the memory is positive, it allows you to absorb whatever lesson is being taught so you can move on and learn new lessons [and make new mistakes].

Evolution doesn’t happen over night, so don’t dismiss it after one or two tries. 

#1: Vulnerability is a Virtue

Be kind to everyone for you never know what that other people are facing. It’s a basic life principal: Give More Get More. The Universal Law of unending returns tells us that your good deeds will come back to you. What you give to people – that’s what you’re going to get back. What you give is up to you…if you seem to be grumbling a lot…refer to #1: Say Nice Things, above.

#1: That Song You’re Listening To Keeping You Broke

Now you might be asking, how on earth could this be relevant to self-confidence?? And it may sound like passing blame and/or not taking responsibility…but stick with me here.

I assure you, the impact of what you allow into your subconscious. has a profound and notable impact on your behaviour and your actions.

On the week 2 webinar we learned that there are 4 Billion subconscious connections firing in our brain – as compared to only 2000 conscious connections. True story!

Remember any jingles from your childhood? Perhaps you haven’t heard it for 15-25-35 years, yet when played, you recall it word for word, and can still put the correct emphasis on words as though you consciously recalled it yourself? Our brain retains information that we don’t even register as important. So I assure you, the gossip and mindless chatter sneaks in there too!

#1: Negativity is a Lousy Roommate.

The news was basically fear mongering and I didn’t ever have time for all the associated drama, so I stopped listening to the radio, and eliminated watching the news. When I did tune in, I never heard any money come out of it – the radio, nor the news have ever paid my mortgage, and has never put food on my table – so instead, while in the car I listen to audio self-improvement audio some ones that really helped get my mindset in the right place. It’s not what I learned, it’s who I became as a result of being surrounded by these great people that has had the biggest impact on my life. With so much negativity all around, it is important to disrupt your brain. Don’t let negativity live rent-free in your mind.

Mind your mind. Keep it positive. Find the good.

Napoleon Hill wrote THINK-and-grow-rich. Not DO-and-grow-rich.

So I listen to the signs a person with cheap meant by Napoleon Hill I listen to the strangest secret by Earl Nightingale I listen to return to love by Marianne Williamson I listen to think and grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and the countless hours that I’ve spent with them as my silent partners with them is my mastermind group have got me to where I am today and I am so thankful that I didn’t just listen to the radio!!

#1: Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

My daughter does not want to be judged EVER. In fact, the thought of being judged paralyzes her. Yet ironically, she’s probably the most judgemental person I’ve ever met. The psychology behind her logic is this: If she judges somebody before they can judge her – then their words have no power. She has it half right.

If you ever went to junior high then it’s likely that you understand what it feels like to be judged. And most likely, what it’s like to judge other people as well.

Ultimately it’s just easier to point the finger at somebody else make them feel bad so that we feel good.  Remember, when we point the finger, there’s 1 pointing at them, but 3 pointing back at ourself.

#1: Introspection – Get Used To It

Most often other people based on the here maybe give me something to somebody else forget to try and bring them down to your level if you can’t feel better about yourself. Where’s the logic – make somebody feel shitty about their flaws because you’re insecure about your own flaws? When did it become easier to attack others – even if it is  subconsciously. Is it really so hard to look yourself in the mirror and say nice things; to be gentle with yourself and focus on your strengths rather than your perceived deficiencies.

To be fair, I know at first this is hard – but keep tabs on how you feel, and how you respond to situations and when you feel that ‘pang’ in the seat of your soul – that’s when you need to pay attention and do whatever it is you’re running away from.

#1: Live In The Truth

Have you ever met someone who lies about everything? Little white lies… exaggerations… some people seem more comfortable lying than telling the truth. Sadly, they lie so much that they begin believing their own lies, and then the truth is impossible to discern, even for them.

You rob people of the joys in life when you lie. So don’t do it. It’s a shitty thing. It takes so much from you and your family from the people you love it ruins surprises  and drains excitement when you lie – just don’t do it.

#1: Embrace 100% Responsibility

You have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you do…and for everything you don’t do for that matter.

…for everything that you think

…for everything that you say

…for every action that you take

…and for every action that you don’t

It’s actually very freeing.

Don’t make excuses…

…not for being late

…not for missing a deadline

…not for not having enough time

…not for the car you drive

…not for the state of your relationships

…not for the state of your life.

Own your s**t.

The good and the bad.

Only then can you being see things objectively, and hopefully, welcome change.

#1: Be Courageous

The more often you choose courage, the more often you’ll succeed.

#1: Express Your Gratitude

You’ll never get what you want if you can’t be grateful for what you’ve already got.

My Gratitude Stack

#1: Love

Love let’s us see ordinary things in extraordinary ways. I LOVE YOU JHC

With love you can be courageous. You an take responsibility. You want to help others and you don’t feel the need to judge. It’s a very nice place to be.

All of this has become more clear during my 36-months with MKE – I’ve either learned it or had it become more clear.

I don’t simply comprehend these steps, I live them everyday. And it is all sunshine and rainbows in my life – even when it isn’t. I choose to find the silver lining – to see the glass as half full – to believe that I am very blessed and highly favoured.

Will you answer your call to greatness?

You’ve got this.

Jen

Curious what moved me this time last year: MKE2 | The Cliffs of Insanity

Pockets of Time | MKE Year 3 Week 1

Hey…got a minute??

I’d like to talk about the seemingly inconsequential ‘Pockets of Time’ that make up our day. These bite-sized morsels of time can have an enormous impact on how we make our conscious decisions, which of course, then forms our habits. And everybody knows that ultimately, it is our habits that pave the way for the life we live. For better or for worse.

Let’s start by digging into what a ‘Pocket of Time’ actually is: any amount of time which makes up the in-between times…the time that fills the gaps. For instance:

  • Waiting for the bus, or in line, or for the photocopier…
  • After school before the kids come out
  • While your food spins in the microwave
  • When you’re put on hold during a phone call
  • During commercials
  • Listening to the radio in your vehicle
  • Or waiting for the traffic light to change, etc.

These small 20-180 second intervals allow us plenty of time to think ourselves into the life we want to live, or not – just as easily, we could do nothing at all…or worse…complain about all the things we don’t want, or we could log into the black hole that is our social accounts and get depressed about all the things we don’t have.

Whether it’s staring at the microwave; mindlessly channel surfing; or listening to gossip on the radio show…none of those things are going to move you closer to your greatness.

However, can you imagine what you could do with that time if you choose to apply yourself, beginning by putting these pockets to use?! Instead of watching cat videos, you could choose to do a physical chore, such as:

  • Clean out the leftovers in the fridge
  • Wipe the front of the appliances
  • Refresh the dogs’ water bowls
  • Take out the garbage
  • Write a quick love note for someone
  • Straighten the shoes at the front door
  • Organize throw pillows on the sofa
  • Purge receipts from your wallet
  • Unload the dishwasher
  • Sort the mail
  • Start writing a BLOG
  • Or simply … think a happy thought…

Your dreams are calling you...Decline or Accept

Once you can master the art of putting your physical body to better use, you might be ready to develop your emotional and mental self – this is the world within. Inside each of us is the unlimited potential to harness an unbelievable amount of thought power…yet, out of habit – or perhaps out of sheer laziness – we usually, and subconsciously dismiss the opportunity to do something productive or beneficial – simply by electing to do nothing.

In essence, we refuse to answer the call to our greatness.

It doesn’t take any extra effort to keep the house clean if you make a point to do so…instead of leaving your socks on the floor, just demand of yourself that you respect the house and your housemates and pick hem up when you get off the sofa, for instance. It seems inconsequential, yet truthfully, when you do tiny things to keep order in your life it saves you from having to find hours each week to clean the house. Same logic applies to your mental housekeeping since your exterior world is a direct reflection of your interior world.

Here’s what I know to be true…if you want to go on a vacation, holding a grudge over someone who went on one isn’t going to build you an airplane…you’ve got to get off your butt and start working! The same is true for your life. You’ve got to dream your dream into reality…become one with it…obsess about it [rather than about Candy Crush or Clash of Clans]. Put those pockets of time to better use. Your future depends on it.

I’m not saying you need to fill every second of every day – but if you take a personal inventory of how you behave during the pockets of time in your world, then you can begin to fill your pockets with intention and activities designed to propel you closer to your greatness!

Screen Shot 2018-09-18 at 9.51.40 AM

The good news and the bad news is it’s entirely up to you.

If you’re anything like me you spent a lot of time in your car…yeah, you could spend time listening to songs on the radio about the guy who lost his dog and/or broke his truck, but all the time I’ve been listening to the radio I’ve never heard any money come out of it!! Its never paid my mortgage or put food on my table…so instead, while I’m in the car I choose to listen to audio designed to help me become a self-directed thinker (sure, your kids might complain – but when they do, have them Google what Pitpulls’ Mom made him listen to):

  • Science of Personal Achievement by Napoleon Hill
  • The Strangest Secret by Earl Nightingale
  • A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson
  • Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

The countless hours I’ve spent with these icons as my silent partners; my guides; my mastermind alliance have supported me to new heights that I am enjoying today, and beyond. I am so thankful I didn’t mindlessly fall in line with the other sheeple and listen to the radio!!

It isn’t what I learned – it’s who I became as a result that has changed me the most and had the most lasting impact.

In Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill says:

Complaining about being poor won’t bring you riches. Wishing for it isn’t enough, you’ve got to act yourself into riches. Wishing for riches may very well bring you temporary riches, but acting with LOVE in your heart will surely bring you riches for generations.

Autonomy and Legacy are important to me – so I made a promise to myself, and a commitment to my family to be that person who creates ‘old money’ for my family – for generations to come. I chose to put my pockets of time to use to create a better life for myself and my family – a future that creates riches for generations.

Today I begin a new life is a great mantra – adds love to your mindset. Repeat this in your Pockets of Time and witness how your life changes.

To be clear here, riches isn’t about money – ‘riches’ is about anything you hold dear to your heart. I realized I didn’t need to have rich Grandparents, or an old Uncle to leave me a ton of money in his will, or the proper blood lines.

Rather, by tapping into my innate potential and reprogramming my brain;

making better decisions about what to do with my time,

I confirmed to myself that I can become anything I want;

I can accomplish anything I set my mind to!

And you can too!!

You are Nature’s Greatest Miracle.

You have it within you to Persist Until You Succeed.

Now, armed with the knowledge that we can think ourselves into any life we want…I encourage you to be brave.

Go ahead and love yourself into riches, by posting a few affirmation cards on your bathroom mirror or inside the kitchen cupboards and see how what you think about changes.

Malcolm Gladwell concludes that one becomes an ‘Outlier’ [a master of their craft] with 10,000 hours of practice. Essentially, anyone can master anything by practicing for about 90-minutes per day, for 20 years…he calls this the ‘Tipping-Point’ of greatness.

The way I see it – the ‘Pockets of Time’ are the answer; a first step towards the mastery of 10,000.

We may feel short on time to impact change in our lives overnight, or in a week, or in a month…but can you imagine how different your life would be in 2-years or 5-years or 10-years if you were to simply redirect your mindless time into mindful time? The possibilities are endless. Try new things. Make new mistakes.

10,000 hours - how much have you put in?

Today is your day – your ground zero!! Human beings have the ‘God-like’ power to control our thoughts; and since “we become what we think about” as Earl Nightingale reminds us in the Strangest Secret, then it stands to reason we can visualize into reality any life which we can imagine.

Here’s to your next new mistake. I’d love to hear all about it.

Love,

Jen

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Check out what moved me during this week of the course during Year 2: MKE 1 | Disengaging Auto-Pilot

Really Good - jeans and army jacket, sitting 2 IMG_7822