MKE18 | What’s love got to do with it?

My kids and I love watching good movies and listening to good music – so by natural extension, randomly dropping one-liners is kind of our thing. For instance, instead of simply announcing ‘Dinner’s ready…’, I’ll say ‘Oh, oh, oh, sweet child o’ mine…dinner’s ready’.

Oh sweet child of mine...

Mega Mind is one of our favourites, and the line ‘…and I love you, random citizen’ speaks to so much more than just a giggle from movie night…it epitomizes my mindset and is a major contributing factor to my ‘sunshine and rainbows’ world.

While my kids were growing up, my parenting style was based largely upon my understanding of unconditional love. And truthfully, having this core belief as the lodestone of my parental compass is a huge part of why they survived teenage hood ūüėČ

Ancient-+How+does+a+Compass+work

I learned very early on that it was necessary to have a strong moral compass to keep me on the straight and narrow, in life, but also in parenting.

As a leader – which as parents we are – I strived to do my best to¬†lead by example. Mostly because it’s the right thing to do, but also because everybody knows people won’t do what you say, they’ll do what you do.

Beginning with the end in mind I knew that unconditional love was the key.¬†Having a long-term vision to foster independence and empathy in my kids helped me see past whatever the current struggle was. Keeping things in perspective allowed me to ‘pick my battles’ as they say…

By no means have I been awarded a medal as the Worlds’ Best Mom [though I am pretty sure it’s in the mail], however, I’ve learned a thing or two along the way that helped keep me focused.

Well rounded, magnetic humans was the end-goal, so it was equally important that they become self-directed thinkers. Deep down I knew it would click for them. Eventually.

Some of the lessons included:

Show them how to always give their best and highest effort by always giving my best and highest effort.

Redirect your best self into a positive experience-based teacher – ¬†you’ll be setting a contagious example at the same time.

Rather than lecture about priorities and responsibilities, instil within them morals and values.

Find the good in everything.

We all live in the house, therefore, it’s everyone’s privilege to pitch in around the house.

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Avoid drama by not expending negative energy into being all pissed off about this, that, or the other thing. *”Life is too shorts.” RIP Jaydon Summerfeldt*

Get done what needs to be done, calmly, and from a place of love. This will energize you, rather than drain you while having so many things on your to-do list.

Don’t cut them slack only to hold it over their heads or use it as leverage.

Don’t keep tabs or tally who owes who what because you did some thing on their behalf.

Stick to it – it’s 100% worth it!!

Acceptable: I would like, or may I please have. Not Acceptable: I want.

Above all else, Love unconditionally. Even when you don’t want to or think you can’t.

It is good to be me, and I am very blessed and highly favoured because I have decided to make the best of everything and because I choose to feel the best in everyone.

Well done is better than well said

During a recent performance review at work, my boss was explaining a 5-point self-assessment and made it very clear that he NEVER awards feedback in the Always column. As we approached the part about my attitude, he lifted his head said:

‘I know I literally just said I don’t hand out ‘Always’ ratings…however upon reviewing the attitude and presence you consistently bring to the office, anything less would have been an injustice to you. Well done.

Screen Shot 2018-02-07 at 10.20.47 AM

Sara said to me the other day that her understanding of unconditional love meant doing something for somebody even if she didn’t want to, and doing it before she would do something else for herself in its place.

I explained to her that the true meaning of unconditional love, in fact, is loving someone regardless of what they do; without an agenda or caveat, and for no other reason than because they are who they are and you are who you are.

I’ve often referenced The Eisenhower Matrix when discussing being a good friend, brother, sister, daughter, son etc. to illustrate the difference between Urgent and Important, and how it will often vary depending on who you’re talking to, based on their life experiences.

In this particular instance, Sara was faced with a challenge that was urgent to her friend and while it was important, it wasn’t urgent in her eyes, yet she allowed their-urgency to become her-urgency. As she described the situation in retrospect, the resentment was evident in her voice yet she dismissed her feelings with a shoulder shrug by saying “It’s a good thing I love him unconditionally”.

She wasn’t acting from a place of love, she was acting from a place of guilt.¬†Unconditional love has nothing to do with making yourself available on a whim, or sacrificing your own priorities because someone else can’t get their own ducks in a row.

 

Urgent vs important - TheEisenhowerMatrix-1024x683

In my profession, we hear one saying all the time, so imagine my delight when Sara quoted it back to me at the end of our conversation…asking how it related to her challenge.

you'll never get what you want...PNG

This doesn’t only mean grandiose gestures such as donating a kidney or building homes on a Tsunami-devastated island…helping other people get what they want can even mean helping them achieve 5-extra-minutes-of-sleep or saving the day by bringing a roll of TP to the helpless, stranded person at the end of the hall.

The implementation of unconditional love comes in many forms…including, for instance…doing the dishes.

Have you ever assigned ‘dish duty’ to someone…

yet the sink magically remains full of dirty dishes?

Frustrating, right!?

Doesn’t have to be.

When you do the dishes for somebody else because they didn‚Äôt do it, you‚Äôre not doing it from a place of love, rather from a place of anger – begrudgingly sacrificing your time [and sanity] because some¬†ass-hat didn’t do the dishes – again.¬†There‚Äôs a difference between doing something for someone else in a selfless manner, and being a sucker.

This forces you into second place as far as your own priorities are concerned, and the inconvenience you feel is usually preceded with – or followed very quickly by – feelings of resentment, frustration and/or disappointment.

The toxicity resulting from negative emotions consumes your heart and your mind, torturing you as it resonates throughout your entire being, eventually becoming part of the energy around you, and therefore by extension, the energy or vibe of your home.

Speaking from personal experience,¬†it’s highly unlikely that the dish-ditcher (*cough, cough, Michael*) will leap off the couch when they hear the commotion in the kitchen and race in to take over, apologies in tow.¬†Unconditional love means loving the dish-ditchers even when they don’t do the dishes. They might not appreciate it, but the Universe does if you do it with love.

It’s not about doing the dishes for somebody because they didn’t; it’s about doing the dishes so you they can do something else.

Fundamentally, these two things are the same, at the end of the day, choosing to act with love rather than anger can sometimes mean that

– – you‚Äôre the one doing the dishes – –

…yet the feelings, thoughts and emotions you choose to associate with that particular action can’t help but manifest themselves into their physical equivalent in the form of energy, which will – without fail -reverberate throughout your life.

For better or worse.

Therefore, it’s really about doing the dishes so you can do something other than bitch about the dishes not being done.

When you act from a place of love, you set yourself free and everything becomes easier. Subconsciously, we inflict so much unnecessary pain and suffering onto ourselves and those around us. Day after day, these seemingly inconsequential decisions shape our world – stories we tell ourselves about how much we have to do, or why the kids are ungrateful, or how life has stacked the odds against us. By telling ourselves these stories – we concede to a tough life, allowing these tiny battles chip away at our souls – slowly but surely turning what is and should be a dream life, into a real-life horror story.

Simple changes to how you perceive situations…the stories you tell yourself regarding how you feel about your experiences, can and will have a dramatic impact on your life for the better.

It’s not about what did or didn’t happen.

It’s about the feeling you associated to what did or didn’t happen.

Your kids are watching. If you throw a fit about doing the dishes, what sane person would expect them not to throw a fit as well? You know that they say about Monkey’s…

Monkey See. Monkey Do.PNG

Acting from a place of servant leadership does not mean you are an actual servant in the Cinderella sense of the word, but rather, it means doing what you do, and doing it with love, regardless. Doing the dishes with love doesn’t mean you love doing the dishes.

When putting love first – even if it means doing the dishes yourself – you act from a place of love; you create the time and space in your schedule so that they can do other things, and your payback is 100-fold…this act of selfless love actually makes time and space in your heart, also!!

Giving without the expectation of reciprocity is very freeing. It’s rare that the Universe will return your efforts to you in the same form.

Instead, maybe the person ahead of you in the drive-thru will pay for your coffee.

Or smile from the next car as you wait at the light.

Or someone will hold the door open for you.

Or shovel your snow.

Or simply say Hi.

Now don’t get me wrong, you may be doing a lot of dishes in the 18+ years that they live at home, but I promise you it’s all worth it when you overhear them talking to someone about acting from a place of love, or when they act selflessly by helping someone else, or that glorious day when you come home and the dishes are actually done, and they even have a glass of wine ready for you because they recognize and appreciate that you had a long day!!

Helping other people with seemingly inconsequential tasks so they can do other things means you are opening your heart to love and by extension, it opens their heart to love as well.

Love is all that is real.

And with love all things are possible.

My wish for you¬†my friends, is that you keep your sinks clear of dirty dishes and your¬†hearts open to the possibility of love in all that you do. I promise you this – you’ll be glad you did!!

Love,

Jen

 

MKE17 | Optimists Rule The World

Kindness, unlike Unicorns should not exist merely in our imaginations.

As an empath, thinking of others first isn’t a difficult or challenging task for me. Because my world is always¬†Sunshine and Rainbows, it’s not hard for me to find things to be grateful for, or ways to show my appreciation to the Universe.¬†What I’m learning, however, as I track the evolution of my thoughts – essentially, the evolution of my actual DNA – is that being kind to myself is equally, if not more important.

Be kind, for everyone is fighting a difficult battle.

-Plato

Faith vs. Belief

I’m stuck in this back-and-forth…an endless tennis match of my thoughts, torn between heart and mind – trying to decide if Faith is exclusive to Religion, or not. I don’t believe Faith has anything to do with Religion at all. Or anything not to do with it, for that matter.

Gravity. We don’t need to ‘believe’ in it Perez, for it to play a fairly significant role in our day-to-day lives…right?!!

The difficulty however, is that belief precedes the action…deciding where to place my Faith therefore, is a critical juncture to all success; to my past, present and future successes.

So, where do I want to place my Faith?

We all have equal capacity for Faith, it’s all about what you believe, and where you choose to place that belief.

When I talk about Faith, I’m not referencing Religion…while I haven’t related to Religion in a long time (…been on the short end when ‘Christians’ hide their judgement of others behind the guise of ‘Religion’), however I do relate to God…so now, I am simply…

Spiritually Optimistic…I choose to do good and be good to people, with full Faith that they will do good things – not back – but forward.

I give, wholeheartedly, without the expectation of reciprocity.

The creator doesn’t judge people until they’re at the Pearly Gates…so what makes us think we have the right to do so?

Pearly Gates Landscape

Why do we need to judge people at all? Perhaps judgement is nothing more than a fear of the loss of power? Why can’t we all just get along?

The bottom line is nobody really knows Рyet it has been proven that we project our insecurities onto other people by judging them (quietly to ourselves, or verbally to others) in order to deflect our lack of self confidence.

In order to remain on the straight and narrow, I often ask myself?

Am I seeking approval? Perhaps…

…more than that though…am I seeking to avoid disapproval…

My belief is intact. Belief in my strengths, and belief that I can overcome my weaknesses. Belief in my abilities to better the world for myself and for others. My unending, optimistic belief that kindness cures all.

Be kind. Be Gentle.

Constant thoughts of gratitude are a great form of prayer.

MKE16 | All it takes is concentration…

Manifest your ideal | A ‘how-to’ guide [in progress…]

I’ve worn my ability to multi-task like a badge of honour for as long as I can remember…turns out, what I thought was among my greatest strengths has actually been, perhaps, my greatest weakness.

When focusing on one thing at a time the results are astounding…the quality of work rises, and the task is actually completed faster.¬†A recent¬†Stanford Multi-Tasking Study¬†found that when we multi-task we are actually less organized, retain less information and are unable to filter out distractions.¬†Science has¬†proven that it takes less energy to succeed than it does to fail.¬†Imagine that!

This Quad | Far Quad visual is a pretty accurate (and entertaining) descriptor of how easy it is to get distracted…it personifies the reason why multi-tasking is a trap and how so many people can easily fall into its clutches.¬†Also, it’s funny because it’s true.

farquad

¬†(Wish I knew the origin so I could give appropriate props and accolades to the genius behind this…)

Consider what your old blueprint is telling you…

Why do we continue to do things that we know are not effective?

Why do we keep running on the proverbial ‘Hamster Wheel of Life’?

Enough already.

You control your destiny…and it’s achieved by the tiny steps we take day-in-and-day-out to direct our lives down the path of our choosing.

Charles F. Hannel repeatedly teaches that¬†“Knowledge does not apply itself”…we’ve got to make the application.

John P. Wooden says that a Dream Without a Plan is just a Fantasy.

“All it takes is concentration.” Charles F. Hannel

For all the List Makers out there, the last ‘To-do List’ you’ll ever need is: Plan the work. ¬†Work the plan. Schedule the most important activity FIRST…literally, write it into your schedule. ¬†Actually do the most important activity first.¬†And be nice to yourself.

It’s simple. Focus + concentrate and STOP MULTI-TASKING. Keep distractions separate. ¬†Let go of what you do not need. Instead, focus on the most important activity. Cling to what you do need, and manifest your ideal.

A line that sticks with me from the movie ‘The Help’ is this…

“You are smart. ¬†You are kind. ¬†You are important.”

 

MKE15 | The Hedgehog Concept

The Hedgehog Concept

When you take care of the most important activity first, it’s amazing how easy it is to find time to do all the other stuff…the little things that are such time-gobblers.

“The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.‚Ä̬†Isaiah Berlin¬†explored the fundamental distinction that exists between those who are fascinated by the infinite variety of things (foxes) and those who relate everything to a central, all-embracing system (hedgehogs).”

We must ask ourselves two questions…

Q1 | What am I pretending not to know?

and

Q2 | What would the person that I intend to become do next?

You know those videos that illustrate the importance of scheduling the big things in your life first, trying to visually prove that when you schedule the big stuff first, magically it all fits in? ¬†So for this BLOG, I’m jumping past the¬†cleverly illustrated examples of how so many people start backwards…

…and fast-forwarding instead, to illustrating¬†the importance of scheduling – and doing – the big things first, such as making family, faith and income producing activities the priority *imagine tennis balls being put into a tennis ball sleeve*…

Secondly, a visual explanation of how¬†it makes so much more sense to follow the most important activity with the supporting or background details *now imagine pouring rice into the sleeve and watch it fill in the space between the tennis balls*…

Next, and time permitting, allow time for the ‘other’ stuff – the minutia – such as cleaning the house, scrolling your social media feed, updating your phone, organizing cupboards etc. *imagine sand being poured into the sleeve, wiggling its way in between the tennis balls and the rice*…

As a reward for working smarter, not harder, we can then add the ‘fruits of life’ as my friend Mark J. puts it…the fun stuff, the ‘us-time’ or ‘me-time’ that we crave *finally, imagine pouring water into¬†the sleeve…over top of the tennis balls, the rice and the sand.*

Now, stand back and marvel at how beautifully it all fits in…So why then, do we all tend to fill our days with the sand first…???

i-never-lose-either-i-win-or-i-learn

On too many occasions, I’ve looked at my business as a reflection of myself – only to become frustrated at the fact that I’m not making the income I’d like to make, or more accurately…need to make. I get down on myself for not doing the simple tasks…the most important tasks, rather than filling my days with ‘busy work’…all the useless, time consuming, non income-producing activities, and for what? …for nothing except the ability to have an excuse to fall back on for my lack of progress in business.

It’s far easier to trick ourselves into believing we’re actually working…when in fact we are just pushing¬†piles of stuff around on our desks, rarely accomplishing anything of value or importance.

Justifying the avoidance factor in business…and to an extent, in every day life as well, introspection has taught me that if I fear doing the activity that will bring me success – let’s say it’s telling people about my product/service despite KNOWING that I understand my product/service – upon analyzing¬†said avoidance on a deeper level, I’ve realized that I don’t actually have a fear of sharing my business, but rather a fear of being rejected…a fear of people not taking my advice, a fear of putting myself out there and being shot down.

So this is what happens when we concentrate – the truth reveals itself. And it does truly set you free. If you’ll allow it – embrace it rather than reject it.

The avoidance on my part is not whether they do or¬†don’t elect to become a customer, rather¬†for some silly and strange reason, I place extreme personal success or failure based on if¬†they deem my advice worthy or not. I’ve equated them not buying my product/service with them not valuing my opinion –¬†instantly,¬†I become reclusive and my desire¬†to be recognized for creative expression gets all bent out of shape and so I simply stop asking because then I can’t possibly be rejected. Ridiculous, I know. ¬†This is nothing but fear, and everybody knows that nothing more than¬†F.E.A.R. is simply False Evidence Appearing Real. ¬†

I was re-reading How to Win Friends and Influence Others yesterday and read a quote by Benjamin Franklin…

‚ÄúI will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody.‚ÄĚ

It takes self-control to be understanding and forgiving. Along this #LifeChanging journey of self-discovery, I began implementing the 7-day Mental Diet, making a habit of not judging others Рwhich has helped me realize that when I was previously jumping to conclusions about people or situations, I was merely avoiding doing that very same work on myself.

When you can face your fears ‚Äď which is often [sadly] ourselves ‚Äď and overcome them, it is then that we discover our greatness on the other side!

I’ve begun recognizing my own self-sabotaging behaviours, and was recently introduced to a¬†powerful¬†resource, a book called Get off your But! by Sean Stephenson.

From the Inside Flap (via Amazon.ca):

“This book will show you how to move beyond your limitations and begin to experience and share your gifts at the highest level.. . . Read this book in its entirety, follow the lessons closely, and watch as your life transforms into a masterpiece filled with an abundance of bliss, passion, and gratitude.” ‚ÄĒFrom the Foreword by Anthony Robbins

In addition to presenting Sean Stephenson’s unbelievable life story,¬†Get Off Your “But,”¬†offers anyone who needs to conquer fears and insecurities a hands-on guide for overcoming the forces of negativity and self-sabotage. Sean‚ÄĒa successful psychotherapist‚ÄĒshows what it takes to overcome the big bumps in the road, eliminate excuses, end insecurities, and ultimately stand up for happiness and success in life. As Sean explains, anyone can fall victim to the “Buts”:

  • “But” Fears (But what if I fail . . .)
  • “But” Insecurities (But I’m not good enough . . .)
  • “But” Excuses (But there’s no time . . .)

Get Off Your “But”¬†offers a practical guide for putting fear behind you and building the inner resources to become self-confident at work and at home. It’s time to get off your “but” and start leading the life you dream.

screen-shot-2017-02-23-at-8-41-33-am

Book reviews, as per Amazon.ca:

  • “Sean is an amazing person with an important message.”
    ‚ÄĒPresident Bill Clinton
  • “Sean Stephenson is the Yoda of personal development, with less pointy ears.”
    ‚ÄĒJimmy Kimmel, host of ABC’s¬†Jimmy Kimmel Live
  • “As we struggle with inertia to become the best that we can be, Sean Stephenson’s book informs and inspires us to stand up and keep moving forward. Thank you, Sean, for your life, your work, and your abundant sharing.”
    ‚ÄĒKen Blanchard, coauthor,¬†The One Minute Manager
  • “Sean Stephenson is a hero to me. When you read his book, he will be a hero to you as well. His moving stories about himself and others who have found the gifts in their pain will teach you so much about courage and, just as important, you will learn how to build your own sense of confidence when it comes to health, career, relationships, and more. Do yourself a favor read this book! ”
    ‚ÄĒSusan Jeffers, Ph.D., author,¬†Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway¬†and¬†Embracing Uncertainty
  • your-speed-doesnt-matter-forward-is-forward-turtle

MKE14| Nerd Knowledge

Remember in school, how there were all the groups, the cliques…lines were drawn and there was no fraternizing with the enemy. Labels have changed over the years, but basically there were the Cool Kids, the Book Worms (read: Nerds), the Jocks, the Rebels, the Teachers’ Pet, and the Floaters; who didn’t belong to any one group in particular; and were loosely accepted by all groups because they were neither a threat, nor an advantage.
I was a Floater.
Theatre seatingAs¬†I observed each group hold their ground for the duration as year one morphed into year two, and year two into year three, was that their knowledge – both individually and collectively – didn’t increase with any notable significance…with the exception of the Nerds.
The Nerds were always inventing new things, learning new skills, asking for help and stretching the boundaries; applying logic from one success to the previous failure of another, and in doing so, creating an entirely new concept. After all, bread still existed before someone sliced it.

Learning was thought to be Geeky – but to the Nerds, it was always super cool.

Their ‘wins’ came from trying new techniques – and failing until they succeeded, and they celebrated the acquisition of Nerd Knowledge like it was winning the Big Game, acing a test, or being crowned Prom Queen.
If you fast forward 10-years after High School [any 10-years; any High School], the Nerds have secured their place as ruler. Bill Gates. Nicholai Tesla. Mark Zuckerberg. You get the point.
So, the way I see it, adopting some Nerd Knowledge of my own; studying with the same tenacity as the Nerds’ studied, then I too can morph into a Nerd and celebrate the slicing of my own bread!
education is our passport to the future
Introspection is one of my favorite things. Time spend in self-reflection – quietly reviewing my life – reflecting, wondering… ‘What am I Missing?‘ fills my cup. So I decided to apply this logic to figuring out how exactly to re-claim my sanity and put my Dragons to rest, once and for all. And it begins with the question I haven’t been able to answer. I need to put my Jennergy in the spotlight…and that begins with the desire to give more. In order to do that, I must first ‘Nerd-up’ my finances; abolish my bad spending habits, live within my means and conquer the infamous ghost who keeps draining my bank account.

It’s been said a time or two that money is the root of all evil. Everybody knows that’s not true.¬†It’s the love of money that is the root of all evil.

If you’re a nice, generous, compassionate person, money won’t turn you into a giant prick, rather, it will simply accentuate your kind soul. Likewise, if you’re a giant prick…well…I’m sure you get where I’m going with this.¬†You see, money simply accentuates that which we already are.

“Every human being who reaches the age of understanding of the purpose of money, wishes for it. Wishing will not bring riches.

But, desiring riches with a state of mind that becomes an obsession, then planning definite ways and means to acquire riches, and backing those plans with persistence which does not recognize failure, will bring riches.”

Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill, describes the method by which DESIRE for riches can be transmuted into its financial equivalent, consists of six definite, practical steps:

  1. Fix in your mind the exact amount of money you desire. It is not sufficient merely to say “I want plenty of money.” Be definite as to the amount. (There is a psychological reason for definiteness which will be described in a subsequent chapter).
  2. Determine exactly what you intend to give in return for the money you desire. (There is no such reality as “something for nothing‚ÄĚ.)
  3. Establish a definite date when you intend to possess the money you desire.
  4. Create a definite plan for carrying out your desire, and begin at once,whether you are ready or not, to put this plan into action.
  5. Write out a clear, concise statement of the amount of money you intend toacquire, name the time limit for its acquisition, state what you intend to give in return for the money, and describe clearly the plan through which you intend to accumulate it.
  6. Read your written statement aloud, twice daily, once just before retiring at night, and once after arising in the morning. AS YOU READ – SEE AND FEEL AND BELIEVE YOURSELF ALREADY IN POSSESSION OF THE MONEY.
These subtle nuances between what we ‘think’ we know, and what actually is, shapes our perception of the world. When we can look at FACTS vs the TRUTHS we tell ourselves, we realize that our realities are nothing more than our perceptions.

Perceptions aren’t reality. Reality is reality.

Our realities are shaped by the feelings we associate (our perceptions) to the situations which we experience. When we realize this we’ve got a chance of living our true Greatness.
Knowledge is power girl

I hope and trust you are living your own Greatness and embracing your inner Nerd – I have Faith in you, I will be your Cheerleader and your Biggest Fan.

Go get your Nerd on.

YES YOU CAN!!

Thank you for taking the time to read…I look forward to your comments!

cropped-have-a-happy-day-jen2.png

MKE13 | What am I missing??

I’ve realized something pretty epic…the more I learn the less I actually know. I guess that means I’m succeeding and struggling. A truth that sucks sometimes…in an awe-inspiring kind of way.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been trying to merge what I’m learning – and un-learning for that matter – with what I’ve been living by…my JennyJenJenCode…my Jennergy.

Feels like I’ve been in an endless battle-of-the-wits between my past and my future. A bizarre, torturous, but yet glorious 2-steps-forward-1-step-backwards kind of dance; a crusade, blinded by ritual and orchestrated upon half truths, hazy directions, and good intentions. Packed with enough misinformation to provide a lifetime of adversity, righteous autonomy [just enough to retain my sanity], and a scattering of Universal favour to remind me I am indeed, Very Blessed and Highly Favoured.

I see now how everything I’ve done in the past has shaped my current reality, and for that I’m so great-ful [both great, and full of gratitude].

Yet I feel like I’ve been under a perpetual fog for a decade and a half. I seem to be able to master anything and everything I touch – yet I have no idea what truly drives me.

I’ve become so astute at figuring out the correlation between all things…connecting the dots…it continues to amaze me that I still can’t figure out what the hell I’m doing here, on earth?? Shit.

Every once in a while, I am graced with quick, temporary glimpses of purpose, fleeting moments of fulfilment that have the power to fill you up again Рif you let it. If I let them. I promise I will let them.

question mark header image lightbulb

Why can’t I picture what I want?

Why can’t I narrow down what I am working towards?

Why am I stuck?

WHAT DO I WANT?

aargh.

Marianne Williamson had it right; it really is my light, not my darkness that scares me the most.

We are never prepared for what we expect. — James Mitchner

So, what am I pretending not to know?

If the future me doesn’t know, and doesn’t care about my history…she doesn’t know what I’ve struggled with – doesn’t know what I am struggling with…the future me simply moves forward, free of bias or limitations. Then, sadly, it is my current self who brings all the baggage from my past along for the ride. My future, in and of itself, is baggage free.

So as I walk you through the evolution of my thoughts, so too, you will witness the evolution of my DNA for once I realize that I know what I once did not know, the old me is no longer.

What do I want to be known for?

What’s my Legacy? My Dynasty?

I enjoy helping people, I enjoy leading people, helping them think. This constitutes a big part of my DNA.¬†We should choose ourselves who we believe in…I believe in myself. Developing more confidence throughout the MKE course and realizing I’ve got to think for myself!¬†If nothing is happening towards my DMP, it means I’m doing nothing towards my DMP. Very simple. Harsh reality. Truth really does hurt.

It fills my cup when people spend time with me and feel better about themselves as a result. ¬†I need to remember that I am having an effect on other people…there’s no logical explanation of the ripple effect, but big or small, I am having an effect.

Constant thoughts of gratitude are a great form of beauty. You can put yourself in the way of beauty – there’s a sunrise and a sunset everyday and you can choose to be there for it.

Talking about my personal evolution…thinking for myself…how beautiful is that. By the end of 2018, this sentence will ring true and pure for me, but right now it’s pretty scary.

Once I let go and expected that I could do anything that I wanted, it became very easy to say I LOVE YOU in the mirror 100x daily.

Your intuition – the way in which the Universe speaks to you.

Your happiness is in direct proportion to the degree you listen to your intuition and follow it. The degree to which you suppress your intuition and live a lie is the degree to which you will suffer and experience misery. You choose.

Sometimes, you will not be able to see where you are going in life‚ÄĒclearly. But know your Soul‚Äôs inner GPS will guide you home. You will find that you will be the right person, at the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing, rightly. ūüôā

How many times have you had a gut feeling about a person or a situation?

An innate confidence that you know what needs to be done?

How many times have you not listened to that voice?

We have all done that.

Yet, we all have that sense and inner guidance. Not listening to it is costly, often more than not costing you your happiness.

Intuition is the sense that arises from the deepest part of your soul. Intuition is the pure impulse of your Soul; nudging you in the direction of your highest path.¬†Intuition is beyond your mind, your logic…your emotions. Emotions are often rooted in your past conditioning…forming personality and character.

If you’re willing to be honest, truly, when faced with a tough decision, often times we will instinctively know what to do. Yet, we constantly question ourselves:

What if I am wrong?

What should I do?

What if it doesn’t turn out like I plan?

How can I be sure?

Let’s discuss the curse of the ‘I don‚Äôt know’ excuse.¬†Truth is, if you confess your deepest truth, then you no longer have any excuses not to move forward or take action. Immediate action.

What don’t you want to acknowledge or admit?

What are you convincing yourself you are confused about?

Forget all that. Instead, trust your intuition. Think HAPPY thoughts.

You know what to do.

What causes one thing to flourish, or to die, or to take another course.¬†Everything has taught me something. Everything I’ve done are the ¬†exact things that got me to where I am today. And I wouldn’t change a single thing about my journey for there’s no way to know what makes one thing to lead to another.

For everything my path has taught me. And for everything I couldn’t yet know.¬†I won’t even know where I am going until I get there. My life, like all lives, mysterious, irrevocable and sacred. So very close. So very present. So very belonging to me. And how wild it was to let it be.

-WILD (a movie I discovered on Netflix late NYE 2017)

MKE12 | Social Economy Revolution

Serious change is upon us…the world is experiencing the biggest shift any of us have seen in our lifetimes…a shift towards a performance economy. In the future, you will no longer be paid for your time; rather, you’ll be paid strictly for your performance.

Here’s how the world used to work:

The rise of the Corporation was the norm, and represented a safe place to exist in the world:

Step 1: go to school and learn how to be an employee

Step 2: find a company that will employ you

Step 3: work for that company for 40 years

Step 4: retire

When people realized the loyalty and hard work they were giving wasn’t being given in return,¬†and¬†a¬†different process evolved…

Step 1: go to school and learn how to be an employee

Step 2: find a company that will employ you

Step 3: switch companies for various political an economic reasons every 3-5 years over the course of your career

Step 4: find that you can’t retire comfortably after 40 years so you keep working

This is what will become of virtually every job…in fact,¬†it is already happening in some professions:

  • People in the food industry already live this reality; they earn a small hourly wage (required by law) and make their living through tips, based on their performance.
  • The person cleaning the hotel rooms will no longer be paid by the hour, instead, by the room.
  • Office workers will find a lower base salary and performance incentives if they hit certain performance benchmarks on a monthly basis. Now the pressure is on and the company is loving it…if you don’t hit your targets they’ll save even more money and if you do, guess what’s going to happen – they’ll raise the requirements.

If this hasn’t already happened to you, it will. ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Count on it.

The evolution of the Performance Economy has begun.

Robot economy pouring beer

According to Eric Worre, here is the ULTIMATE BUSINESS and PERFECT CAREER LIST, summarized from people over 30 countries:

What people don’t want:¬†No boss. No commute. No alarm clock. No employees. No politics. No compromises. No discrimination. No educational requirement.

Using their imagination in a more positive way, here are some more positive attributes: Great product or service. Unlimited income. Residual income. Enjoy the people you work with. Time freedom. Something meaningful. Personal growth. Lots of perks. International. Contribution to worthy causes. Low overhead. Low risk. Low start up cost. Economy proof. Tax benefits. Fun.

As the economy shifts, most people end up with more month than money and are faced to scale back, sell items, or take a second job.Here are some of the typical considerations:

Types of jobs (according to Wikipedia and Eric Worre):

Blue Collar - working class

Blue Collar: A member of the working class who performs manual labor. Somebody who labors to fix something, make something, clean something, build something, or service something or someone.

white-collar-crimes

White Collar: A person who performs Professional, Managerial or Administrative work. A person who’s employed by someone else to do work other than manual labor or sales. (One of the most socially acceptable options available. Long viewed as the safe and secure option. The previous mentality of ‘if I’m loyal to the company, the company will be loyal to me’ is now long gone.)

sales job image

Sales: More adventurous than a typical white collar job because people are paid on their production, instead of by the hour. It is not unheard of for sales people to achieve wild success, when they do, they almost always set their lifestyle to that standard. When times get tough, they work more hours to make the same amount of money…so while they have the stuff, they don’t have the time to enjoy it.

Another challenge for the sales career is that no matter how a person does, they still start at zero the next day, and it can be tiring to live under that kind of pressure for a prolonged period of time.

Blow your hair back image

Traditional Business Ownership: The details vary a bit, but in general the process goes something like this:

  • Use life savings, take on additional debt via personal loans from family, friends or banks to get started.
  • Focus on everything other than what you’re good at – must be all things to all people. Time of and sleep are unlikely.
  • After everyone else is paid, you might have enough leftover to pay your own bills. Likely not enough to pay down your debt from Step 1 though.
  • Concede, give up your dream, and re-join the sales force with massive debt and a broken ego.

Investing weigh scales

Investor:¬†Basically, unless you’re extremely specialized, it’s safe to consider this philanthropy rather than investing.

The New Economy Needs Fewer People

Exponential rise of technology has changed everything.

  • 100 years ago, 90% of population worked in agriculture…today, it’s less than 1%…
  • Remember call centres? You used to talk to an actual person, now you talk to a computer…
  • Companies used to have large sales forces, now people order online
  • What about Blockbuster and all of it’s employees…now people stream movies to their handheld or tablet devices…

…and those jobs are gone!

Robot economy pouring beer

Much like the children of farmers saw what was happening and left Farming for new vocations, the same thing is happening in Old Economy jobs. To survive, people need to open their eyes to this new reality and find something new.

Technology and efficiency are eliminating jobs everyday and there’s nothing we can do to stop it; in fact, it’s only going to accelerate.

Just because technology now reigns supreme, doesn’t trump the fact that…

  • …there are still products that need to be promoted…
  • …consumers still need to be educated…
  • …buyers are more discerning than ever to price and quality, because endless information is literally available at the touch of a button…

For the people who recognize this fact, it will be the best of times; for those who don’t, this change will be the worst of times.

Society is moving away from traditional forms of advertising and is rapidly embracing word-of-mouth because it continues to work better than any other form of promotion.

Aside from Super Bowl, when was the last time you volunteered to watch a commercial? PayPerView and OnDemand TV have eliminated the relevance of the commercial.

Hello, AMAZON Prime. In what reality do malls survive where people can quickly and efficiently order what they want and have it shipped directly to their front door with out the hassle and expense of going to the mall? Right…SEARS, ToysR’Us…

UBER rewards referrals with an account credit. Some banks pay hefty bonuses for . And restaurants. And retail stores (what’s left of them). Companies that offer products or services recognize this Social Economy Revolution and are rewarding loyalty with points programs and referral incentives.

Referral Marketing is the new – preferred – form of advertising. Companies aren’t utilizing large and expensive sales forces’, instead, more and more companies choose to provide Corporate support and pay distributors on a purely performance basis to promote their products, thereby¬†utilizing Network Marketing to tell their stories.

More and more, companies will choose to use Network Marketing because it fits the new economy. The best way I know to not only survive, but thrive in the new economy is this Profession.

Network Marketing isn’t perfect…it’s just better.

You must accept [read: embrace] a temporary loss in social esteem from ignorant people.

benjaminfranklin1

For a while, people living in and trying to function within the old system will think less of you. They won’t understand.

You are seeing the future before it becomes apparent to anyone else. You are the smart one. You are taking action to live a better life.

The allure of getting paid for someone else’ efforts is powerful, but often badly misunderstood.

More often than not, this is what goes through the Lind of virtually every person who decides to get involved:

Hmm, I can think of 5 or 6 people who might do this too. My sister would be great. My friend knows lots of people. I know this other person who loves this kind of thing and would be amazing. Okay, I’ll join.

In other words, they aren’t joining a Profession, they’re just hoping to get lucky. They’re hoping to sign up a few people to cover their own start up costs and sit back and wait for the money to roll in. They haven’t started a real business, they’ve just purchased a glorified lottery ticket.

Imagine a lottery ticket with 6 scratch off spots – those spots represent the people they think most certainly will join, they approach those people and try to get them to join, but because of their lack of skill, most of them end up with nothing, just like the lottery ticket. And since they’ve acted in unskilled ignorance, they may have damaged some friendships or relationships along the way.

So, they rip up the lottery ticket, and instead of taking responsibility for not really starting their business, they blame Network Marketing and make sure to tell the world¬†“Look, I’ve been there. Done that. I talked to every person I know and NM just doesn’t work; save your money.”

If you choose this as a Profession, that’s what you’re up against…the opinions of ignorant people who think they have done it right and it doesn’t work.

Well, news flash:

  • If some people are making a lot of money, then it’s not the compensation plans’ fault.
  • If some people are selling a ton of product, then it’s not the products’ fault.
  • If some people are going on the all-inclusive paid vacations, then it’s not the companies’ fault.

Responsibility rests 100% on our own shoulders. If you can embrace this, the world is yours, and in this Profession, you will get paid BIG money.

In contrast, Network Marketing Companies want to pay you more, not less like traditional Corporations.

They will pay unlimited amounts to people

who can help blind people see,

who can educate the ignorant,

and who can build a community of like-minded people.

The world as we know it has changed.¬†If you’re going to be paid on performance anyway, ¬†why live with the cap??

…summarized and reorganized from Eric Worre’s GoPro…

[7 Steps to Becoming a Network Marketing Professional]

MKE11 | Gratitude Attack

Gratitude is a cause, not an effect.

I’ve discovered that the more I give, the more I get…and having a GIVE MORE GET MORE mindset continues to open a world of possibilities.

Gratitude is not a one way street.

To give freely, we must also be open to receiving.

While I am happy to help others, I often reject the offer to accept the same help I so willingly hand out. By not accepting help I am blocking the gratitude flow…preventing it from completing the rotation.

Screen Shot 2017-02-21 at 3.20.52 PM.png

For example…I give and give, and do and do for everyone any chance I get, yet when I have the change to receive help, I tend to immediately reject it. For I feel guilty, as though I’m imposing on other people…ridiculous, I know.

This is simply fear…False Evidence Appearing Real (FEAR).

Fear of asking for help? Fear of appearing needy? Perhaps fear of needing help?

Still learning about myself, aware of the feeling and can now identify when I react this way. It is after all, a reaction, not a response.

 

Allow the abundance to flow back to you.

As I was telling my friend Carrie about this story, she questioned why I wouldn’t simply accept help and allow others to return the favour? She pointed out that surely I had earned a break, if for nothing other than¬†the enormous¬†amount of service I provide to others, always without hesitation. She went on to enlighten me¬†that I’m cutting off the flow of abundance by allowing myself to be overcome by guilt rather than simply being accepting of the Universal law of giving.

This realization hit me like a tonne of bricks right to the side of the head…suddenly a bunch of things made total sense.

Welcoming abundance and receiving gratitude are part of being Very Blessed and Highly Favoured. I promise to embrace the help that is offered with grace and humility so as to no longer block the flow of abundance.

I welcome abundance in and from all directions, with an open mind and a grateful heart. So grateful that my friend took the time to highlight how ridiculous it is for me to pick and choose how gratitude will work…

I’ve got to let go…

I will let go…

…I have let go.

Gratitude, Ya’ll.¬†

Having gratitude and expressing gratitude to people are different.

So many people have trouble accepting compliments. Many people will wonder if you’re dying when you tell them you’re grateful – they’re simply not used to hearing it. That, my friends, is a sad state of affairs. We all have greatness inside us. I believe I have been put on the planet to help draw out peoples’ greatness.

When was the last time you were grateful for having 10 fingers and 10 toes?

Homework: Find three people in your life and tell them – physically pick-up the phone and call them, or write a card not a text – tell them why you’re grateful or thankful for them.¬†There’s something about the written word…and something equally as powerful about the spoken word.

Feel gratitude for everything.¬†You’ll be happy you did ūüôā

I had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful and inspiring leader, Muzafer just over a year ago. He explained that he wears gym shorts under his suits while he’s on stage presenting because it reminds him of his roots when people clap give him accolades.

He described it as keeping him grounded, and reminds him that he’s still the kid from humble beginnings. His lesson: Be grateful.¬†Do things to keep you grounded, find ways to remind yourself daily.

Never forget where you’ve come from, or you’ll be on your way back.

Create and maintain a vital S P I R I T. You need to make sure you are giving yourself opportunities to find stillness. Do¬†things every day that bring you joy, keep you grounded, and feed your soul. Sharing with others, giving to others, giving your all – these activities, while enriching, take a lot out of a person. Even a day that is filled with meaningful, fun activities can be tiresome. There can be no restoration without rest so don’t forget to make time to rest,¬†to sleep, to recover.

mindset-is-everything

 

 

MKE10 | Super Hero Complex

Automatic strength. The kind I don’t have to negotiate with my body – or my mind -for…I simply will it, on demand. Endless reservoirs of back up power, available at the blink of an eye.

This is the strong me. The kind of ‘lift-a-car-off-your-kid’ in an emergency kind of innate strength. Not a front, rather truly a part of who I am. While this strength has proven to be available, yet completely exhausting. Calling upon this strength comes with a huge cost – it requires at least 4x the energy expended in order to recover.

In times like this, I find it helpful to remember that This Too Shall Pass.

ENTER: SURVIVAL MODE

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had to do it all. My independence streak runs deep. For better, or for worse. Won’t bore you with the details – and I certainly don’t want pity…

Rough childhood would be putting it mildly. Raised my sisters since elementary school. Moved out at 13. Raised my son since I myself, was a child. Working to pay bills. Paying bills instead of being alive. Its become a really bad habit Рputting myself second to everything.

Keeping busy being busy. Jumping around wearing so many hats – and I’m not sure exactly why anymore.

So now, I’ve got myself strung so tight…I’ve got this big house that no one can be bothered to help me with. Trying to complete a University degree [failing, quite miserably]. While working¬†way too much because one income simply isn’t enough to maintain a lifestyle – not an overly grandiose or pretentious one either – simply a roof, some food and a vehicle.

There's no way I was born to just pay bills and die

During a temporary lapse in sanity this Spring, I adopted two adorable puppy-brothers (super glad I did though) because they provide enduring Happiness as I deal with the burdens of everyday life.

While slogging through year eight of an exhausting civil-legal following an MVA, which, now forces me to endure chronic, daily, lower body pain – for which, I take extensive pain killers [prescribed, of course]. When those don’t cut it, I get to choose between quarterly cortisone injections, or perhaps medical marijuana in order to be able to walk, to sit, to drive, to sleep…to function without numb fingers or a stabbing pain from my left buttock down to the bottom of my toes. So many exciting options.

As an added bonus, I also have Acne. And Grey hair. Neither are fun, but seeing Sara giggle because she thinks it’s hilarious lifts my spirits. But let’s get serious…teenagers – either awesome or horrible. Not much middle ground there.¬†Somewhere in there…all the house stuff (groceries, banking, Christmas cards, etc.). So, unfortunately, it goes without saying that I don’t often ask for help. Even when people offer help, I’m apt to thank them profusely, then politely decline. Insistently. To a fault.

Stubborn pride…

This is my weakness – which I’ve been [not-so-cleverly] parading around as strength.

I’m learning [the hard way] that what I have perceived as strength for a really long time, is actually my kryptonite.

ENTER: RECLUSION [also known as AVOIDANCE]

Thought I’d share that in an effort to spare a you the trouble…

Avoidance is not a strategy, FYI.

When my ‘f^*k-it-bucket’ quota breaches the brim, I shut everything down…finding solace in the darkness and reprieve in the quiet. If I’ve shut you out at some point, been a bad friend and not called, not responded or reached out – I apologize…it’s a glitch in my auto-response, and I’m – finally – aware of it. Thankfully. But perhaps more importantly, I see a way to change it.

ENTER: FORGETFULNESS [usually hangs out with STRESS]

I can go days and totally forget things. We’re talking urgent things. The more I stack on my plate, the worse it gets. Forgetful. Then stressed. Or stressed. Then forgetful. As if the sequence of events matters – they come as a package deal – and collectively, they’re a ticking time bomb.

Money is – unfortunately – the King of my castle; holding my sanity and dreams prisoner.

If the Prince represents the KEY to achieving the life I KNOW I was born to live…unfolding all the answers and solutions to what’s been holding me back…

And the Damsel in Distress represents my oh-so-coveted Autonomy and Legacy…

… then …

The busy things I’ve been filling my life with represent¬†the Vigilant Dragon, guarding¬†who the Castle Keep. Sadly, I am the Dragon.

ENTER: OVERCOMING OVERWHELM

Sometimes I find life extremely overwhelming – but when I stop and really observe what’s going on…take a mental inventory of all the moving parts.

My next breakthrough is only slightly out of reach, sitting precariously perched atop the pivot-point of the Teeter-Totter of life…the irony of it all…

…is that my weight is on both sides.

What I have done in the past weighs on the low end, versus what I need to do to move forward and bring about new results on the other.

I realize that at the exact moment when I recognize the overwhelm – when I’m about to admit defeat…that very moment is in fact the fulcrum…

…whether I choose to concede and continue hammering out rock solid, gold metal worthy projects for someone else…or…persist until I succeed…and work as hard for myself as I do for other people.

 

ENTER: VULNERABILITY

This one I need to negotiate with myself in order draw it out. This is for sure not in my DNA – but I promise you I am trying to write it into my code because I recognize the tremendous power of it all.

When my Greatness begins to shine is exactly when Resistance – the Universal Dream Stealer – throws more obstacles into my path. Relentlessly. Fortunately, I am both knowledgeable and wise when it comes to these old tricks – because I analyze when things seem insurmountable, I can easily recognize patterns.

Over the years, the lessons have proven – again and again – that it truly is darkest before dawn, yet when it seems all light has been extinguished, a flicker still remains – found within the innate strength we talked about earlier.

This is confirmation from the Universe that I’m doing the right things to attract Autonomy and Legacy, verifying I’m on the right path. Because as we determined earlier, it’s always darkest before dawn, and I can say with confidence that the Sun is always shining in my world, so it’s this magical decision between old and new, between stuck and free, between my past and my future – this simple decision is where the magic happens!!

The warrior within takes the lead and carries on. Paying no heed to the crippling circumstance, blissfully ignorant to the seemingly insurmountable odds, instead – like a champion – ploughing through the obstacle course of life…reliable…relentless…victorious. This is one facet of my Valkyrie.

ENTER: RECLAIMING CONTROL

Running around doing all the stuff that isn’t moving me closer to my goals and all I want to be doing is building a secret business watching Tracey suffer a yes or no true residual income meanwhile I’m going to work showing condos my daughters at home contemplating suicide and I’m driving all around and doing all the work and completely neglecting my house and my myself my daughter I’m not there I’m not present as a parent and making somebody else rich doing it.

Enough. This is how I feel about my ability to push through – *Facing the Giants | Death Crawl Scene*

It’s my turn now. I’m going to affix my own mask – or I will be unable to help others achieve their own greatness…not on my back, rather by my side.

Theory that people need identity outside of parent only or kids move out and they go crazy. So what kind of super hero have you been facading as? I REALIZED I don’t need to choose just one response – I simply need to control the extenuating circumstances in my life so that all of my strong suits can operate harmoniously.

I am whole, harmonious, peaceful, happy, humble, caring and kind.

MKE9 | Hard Wired Happiness

Magnetic Happiness | The Happiness Project

Think HAPPY thoughts. That’s really all there is to it.

Time and time again, against all odds and seemingly incomprehensible, relentless challenges, I remain blissfully ignorant to the negativity and destruction trying to breach my psyche and pull me down. I refuse to engage in drama (actually, am allergic to it), instead, I elect to see the best in everyone – find the good in every situation – identify the silver lining. This is how I remain diligent to answering my call to GREATNESS! By remaining faithful to being HAPPY, always.

Telling my story, and helping other people tell theirs’, is an extremely impactful and very powerful experience for me. Through storytelling, and empowering others to tell their stories as well, my greatness is sired –¬†HAPPINESS fulfills me, and frees my imagination.

Blogging provides an outlet to think out loud – hearing/reading the impact it has on other people really fuels me, encourages me, and lifts up my spirits when I’m feeling stuck. Or frustrated. Or scared. Or any other number of treacherous thoughts – that, if I give into them for even a moment, can send me down a path of destruction.

So instead of giving in, I let go РI choose let it all out. I am whole, and I am free, and I am HAPPY!!

I am whole, because I am HAPPY. I am HAPPY, because I am free. I am free, because I am whole, because I am HAPPY. I can be what I will to be, and I will to be HAPPY. I am HAPPY.

Thinking outside the confines of structure…allowing the words to flow, seeing where they organically end up has magic to it. Learning the process of expressing myself.¬†Enjoying the discovery.¬†Giving myself permission to be vulnerable.¬†You’ve Gotta feel it. If you feel it, your subconscious will work it out, effortlessly, and EVERY time!

Dictated or typed, sentences and an endless mash-ups of notes jotted on paper (or my hand), then edit, edit, edit…massaging my thoughts into a story. Developing a relentless, underlying tone – a pattern, a habit – of persistence and grace, sarcasm and hard truths, but most of all, empathy, compassion and understanding.

At the end of the day, my¬†precious cargo – my sacred thoughts, my intimate self – is set free to dance in curious wonder, despite, or perhaps in spite of all the trials and tribulations. I refuse to give any power to fear, jealousy, anger, resentment, hatred…instead I CHOOSE to focus on the sunshine and rainbows. Believe me, sometimes they are super hard to find, but the reward has been life-changing.

Magnetic Happiness. Contagious Enthusiasm…a blissful existence, where the sun always shines, because my HAPPY powers its’ generator, and anything less simply won’t do.

Think. Feel. Do. Be. Become. Evolve.  

GRATITUDE, Y’ALL

In my experience, it all begins and ends with Gratitude.

When I didn’t have anything to give, I surrendered everything I had. When I had no reason to be happy, I chose to share the love. When circumstance had won that round and I retreated to the corner to lick my wounds, I was grate-ful for having a corner to retreat to.

Gratitude is a choice. Finding pleasure in the simple things – take time to smell the roses kind of stuff – is an easy way to embrace gratitude. When you embrace the GIVE MORE GET MORE mentality, Happy can become your default setting. Trust me, it’s blissful!

Take time to notice the sunrise. Watch as the clouds shift above you. Notice when someone smiles at you – and smile back! Greet the clerk by name, and watch their eyes light up.

When was the last time you were grateful for your ability to see? For having fingers and toes, and opposable thumbs for that matter?

My Gratitude Stack

I carry my Gratitude Stack around with me, connected with a jump ring…rests under my pillow at night, on my desk while I work, in the console of my car while I drive. I’ve read these cards so many times that their very presence calms me!

Want more HAPPY? Try This:

  • 20 things you loved as a kid
  • 20 things you love about yourself
  • 20 things you love about the people around you (especially if relationships are challenging)
  • 20 things you want to do before the end of your tomorrows’
  • 20 things you might like to learn how to do, or want to teach to your loved ones

DON’T WORRY

True story…when you Google ‘HAPPY Images’ an overwhelming majority is versions of Bob Marley’s song lyrics…every little thing, is gonna be alright.

I want to be known as an Ambassador of Happiness as well. I will persist until I succeed. I will whisper my legacy until the entire world can hear it, and I will know it has been heard when the wonder of it all echoes through the actions of others Рseen as their increased confidence, fortified in their self belief, and our individual successes will be the collective voice that shouts these wins from the roof tops!

IT’S ALL, ALL GOOD

Relax already. Stop chasing the next best outfit, or hair style, or boat, house or even the perfect Christmas gift.¬†Society as a whole could greatly benefit from becoming less concerned about having the best ‘stuff’, and more concerned about ‘being’ the best self. My shift in focus to chasing the next best positive thoughts in order to attract an elevated Top 5 group, in order to live a life only imagined, in order to learn new things and make new mistakes,¬†has been all, all good!

LOVE THYSELF

I greet this day with love in my heart.

Today and every day I am growing stronger and more magnetic.¬†With love in my heart I can conquer my fear.¬†With love in my heart I am proud of myself. I love myself and I know me as my own person. Before I meet anyone, with powerful, subconscious announcement ‘I LOVE YOU’ which is personified with a sincere SMILE as my eyes meet theirs.

I am not defined by just ‘one thing’, rather I am everything, all at once.

Completely in tune with the Universe. I exist with grace and ease because I CHOOSE embrace everything with love in my heart. I am perfect, whole, harmonious, loving and complete. And above all else, I am HAPPY!

I LOVE YOU JHC

IMAGINATION is the Master Key

I see things that other people don’t see. Creative thought fuels my Happiness.

The other day my daughter and I were in the Tim Horton’s parking lot and she was commenting how, while inside, she had seen one of the boys who she went to elementary school with. She had a few snappy remarks about how he had tormented her, followed her around a little too close, ran her foot over with the door in grade 3…and she was working herself into a flap about having come within 10-feet of this boy who she associated all this angst with…

Then, as if on cue, an young, tall, skinny employee came out to empty the garbages that sat only a few car-lengths away…now, to paint this picture for you – it’s cold where we live, so he had a winter jacket on, and, because safety-first, he was also wearing a reflective vest, and had a garbage bag tucked into each pocket, on top of that, he seemed pretty happy…which was commendable since he was on garbage duty in sub-zero weather, in the dark [which doesn’t necessarily mean it was late, because up here we basically neighbour the Arctic so WinterTime is pretty much pitch black by dinner]…

…so picture this:¬†I piped up to distract her from her rant by saying…

“Sessa, check it! He’s a Garbage Bag Man – can’t you just see him skipping down the sidewalk, flailing his arms like those inflatable Gumbi-looking blow-ups that car dealerships hoist onto their roofs during a big sale…” And all of a sudden, she let go of her negative feelings, her face un-crumpled, her eyes began to shine as she broke into her adorable giggle. Mission accomplished! How can I be mad or sad or grouchy when stuff like that rolls through my mind all day long?!? Perfectly Impossible. Exactly the way I like it.

HAPPY¬†is my default setting. ‘Think HAPPY thoughts’ has been repeatedly drilled into my kids since they were born – it’s my motus-operandi.

Hard wiring happiness begins in the mind.

Which is great, because the Mind is ruled by these 7 Laws. Master these Laws and you will become the HAPPY Master of your own Universe.

…(total flashback to my childhood here – Saturday morning cartoons…remember the Master’s of the Universe…)… anyways, I digress…the 7 Laws of the Mind are:

Law of Practice

The 5P’s: Perfect Practice Prevents Poor Performance. With practice of the correct things, we improve on all 6 of the other Laws of the Mind.

Practice makes perfect PERMANENT. ¬†If you’re practicing the wrong things, you’re perfecting the wrong habits/behaviours/outcomes. Do you really want to make those permanent?? Likely not. Practice what you want, not what you don’t want.

Law of Forgiveness

There can be no connection to the Divine mind where anger or resentment against a brother or sister, justified or not, exists. To access the Diving and connect the subconscious to the Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent Creator we must forgive everyone and anyone to clear the channel.

Law of Substitution

We cannot think about two things at the same time. One thought will always dominate. With a heart filled with gratitude, the mind cannot possibly be in fear, lack, or judgement.

Compliment someone on their hair, or their clothes, or car…or eyes, or whatever. Don’t wish you had that ‘thing’ and begrudge them for possessing it. Be happy for them that they have it! Share the love people. When you do, more love will come your way.

Law of Dual Thought

Thought is a combination of ideation and feeling. We can attach any feeling we want to a thought. Happiness, therefore, is a choice.

When Sara and I got run over by that pick-up truck, I didn’t wallow in self pity for being in a wheelchair or for seeing her tied to a hospital bed for 6-weeks, instead, I was great-ful I still had a daughter to love, and watch grow. I was great-ful for the doctors who were helping her heal, rather than focusing on surgery after surgery because she had no structural integrity in her pelvis. Circumstantial trauma will not traumatize my life…I simply won’t allow it.

Law of Relaxation

Mental effort defeats itself – exactly the opposite of physical effort! A relaxed, calm state of mind is the only doorway to progress mentally. Relaxation ion thought is the only access to Infinite Intelligence!

SIT30 has become a daily reminder to take time for myself and focus inside. Until I did this I didn’t fully grasp that I had been searching for my answers from the outside…expecting the world to fulfill me. When I shifted my focus inward, my¬†HAPPINESS exploded, I embraced the magnetic wonder of my childhood self, and the world laid all opportunity at my doorstep.

At the end of the day, when all is said and done and I look the gal in the glass in the eye – she is, indeed, my HAPPY friend!!

Have a HAPPY day!

Jen

Thank you for reading! I’m so great-ful [because I am great and my heart if full of gratitude] you’ve joined me on this journey. Please leave your comments and observations below…they fuel my fire and I’m so appreciative for your time and interaction.

Have a HAPPY Day.Jen

MKE8 | Directing my Valkyrie

As I learn more about who I was born to be…I realize that the things from my childhood which I thought were too jeuvenile or silly were swept aside; those character traits (emotional and physical), which I have consciously eliminated from my daily repertoire…these are in fact the foundation of the true Me…they are the bumpers to my bowling lane! At the risk of sounding like a cheese ball…they complete me.

Things like saying “Have a HAPPY day!” rather than “Have a good day” [the boring, confirmative, yet still pleasant and more grown-up version].

Realigning with the 6 year-old Me has been magical, in every sense of the word. I choose to believe in Magic. And I’m happy about it!

The Valkyrie inside me has always been there..now that it’s awake, I can barely contain the majestic-ness of it all.

I’m putting the real me on display for the world … to love or not to love…

All of my wild love. All my captivating, intoxicating goodness…designed to fulfill my destiny and act as a beacon towards my life’s truest calling….baring my soul, my secrets, and my strengths to the world with pride and humility and I have gratitude and love in my heart so the Universe will bring back to me more of that which I give.

While I feel more free, I also feel more capable, impactful, and yes…even Happier!!

This is me, and I love me. Flaws and imperfections are my signature, not my deficit, and I’ve embraced being different – actually, I wouldn’t want it any other way!! I‚Äôm going to be the best….that way I can really change things.

The Universal Test

From time to time, the Universe has been known to throw pain and suffering at me, often at the most inopportune times. Likely geared towards muting my light…to distract me from realizing my full potential…and sadly, I have been an unconscious pawn in this game far too long. By allowing this to continue, I am essentially accepting defeat and everything I’ve ever wanted had seemed just beyond my reach.

Well no more. Now I am adorned with goodness and light and more affluence and favor than many will ever know. I know I am very blessed and highly favored.

They [exactly who are ‘they’, anyways?] and why do we voluntarily give ‘them’ is much power?? Anyways…they comment that it’s always darkest before dawn…and I am proud to say that this has never dissuaded me. I promise myself I will overcome the previous addiction to remaining stuck in this realm of torment and drama.

Some people believe the Universe is out to get them…well, what I believe is that the Universe IS out to get you!!

…to get you to learn a new lesson…to get you to make different decisions so you can grow and learn…and evolve…so you can make new mistakes…in order to grow and learn.

Pain is no longer my fuel, nor is it my vice. When I’ve got a full plate and my resolve threatens to buckle under the pressure…it is at that very moment – while I contemplate certain defeat…that I will not give in, rather I will harness this energy into my greatness…because is where all the magic lies.

The fork in the road, the Fulcrum point…most would [and usually do] concede – justifying their own excuses, allowing Resistance to flail its treacherous sword; hacking apart the ridge built by the conscious minds.

A select few who have adopted the Master Key principles are able to line the trials and tribulations with an overwhelming sense of the warm and fuzzies, vigilantly ploughing through, taking baby steps and sometimes giant leaps and bounds towards overcoming obstacles and turning adversities into advantages.

Think of it like ‘levelling up’…the game platform represents the Universe, the game represents your life/future/desire…and the arsenal of weapons available to you represents your mental stronghold of positive mental thoughts and attitudes.

Will you answer the call??

When my kids were young, and in reality, quite recently as well, I’d always encourage them to ‘make new mistakes’. Instead of throwing in the towel, I took the addition of another simultaneous ‘super important, stress-enduring, time-sucking emergency and instead became laser-focused on funnelling that negative energy into the never-dying battery pack, without any trace of question or exception, powers my Resolve.

More burden…Bring It!

Another Stressor…I’ve got this.

…the needle in the Haystack…I see you and I’m coming for you. Your time is over because I’m coming for you!

I can be what I will to be. And I will my Vigilant Guardsman to be my Valkyrie.

When I feel an insurmountable amount of pressure, I remind myself of my promise to NEVER, EVER QUIT because I’ve embraced the darkness – for the pattern that holds true despite and inspire of the sands of time is this:

Without fail, it is during my darkest and most challenging times that I have come face-to-face with my Demons; and the Vigilant Watchman ensures that it there they shall lie…strewn upon piles of fear and broken dreams, for all eternity these distractions will no longer direct my course. In the darkness I conquer what no longer serves me, and as the dark recess, the new me emerges, armed with new knowledge and habit, with renewed belief and restored confidence.

According to Norse legend, the Valkyrie were beautiful women who watched over Odin’s army and transported their souls to a safe haven, where they were to await the epic, final battle. Those who were weak or unworthy did not get a second chance, they died and were forgotten.

This analogy resonated with me [as all good analogies do!] because my MKE-infused brain is, in essence, watching over my thoughts and filtering which ones are saved, and which ones are discarded and forgotten about. My brain is my Valkyrie. My Vigilant Guardsman at the Gate.

I refuse to conform. I am free of its control because I now realize – and accept – my power to control this destruction and recognize my competent ability to make different choices, which will affect more positive results.

I greet this day with love in my heart.

Today and every day I am growing stronger and more magnetic.

I am not defined as just ‘one thing’, rather I am everything, all at once. Completely in tune with the Universe. I am perfect, whole, harmonious and complete. And above all else, I am Happy!

I do everything with grace and ease because I embrace it all with love in my heart.

I’m so great-ful that you’ve joined me on this journey…please leave your comments and observations below…they fuel my fire and I’m so appreciative for your time and interaction.

Have a HAPPY day!

Jen

MKE7 | Love Letter From My Future Self

Hey girl, slow down for a second…

I know that you¬†overthink things so this is a reminder from your future self that it’s all going to be alright. Read it often.

Despite some pretty major challenges you’ve managed to wear a smile every damn day, and hey, that’s a victory, right!!! Celebrate that you’re on your way to mastering the world within.

Don’t put so much pressure on yourself.¬†Trust that things will work out. Remember your greatness. The world needs what you have inside you – so wear your happiness like a badge of honour. Embracing your best self shows others how to embrace theirs as well. The world will become a better place as a result.

you are your only limit

I LOVE you. You’ve got this. Keep going.

Whatever you‚Äôre doing…stop, right now!¬†Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Take another breath, but this time, try to not let your chest rise – instead, breathe deeply from your abdomen. Take another breath. And another. Clear your mind. When you’re ready, open your eyes. Look around you. Do you see nature? Go outside and embrace the feeling¬†of the¬†sunshine on your skin. Go touch the leaves. Smell a flower. Listen¬†to¬†the birds sing. Play in the snow. Enjoy the fresh air. Breathe. Be.

Take another deep breath. Ground yourself. Think¬†objectively. Smile. Your eyes dance when you get fired up…let it all out!

The Compass

I‚Äôm sure you‚Äôve got a lot going on right now, and that‚Äôs good…just don‚Äôt lose track of what‚Äôs important, what‚Äôs worth making time for. Spend time with people you love. That‚Äôs first and foremost, always. Hang out with your mom as much as possible, words cannot describe what she has done for you over the years. Also, eat a cookie once¬†in a while.

Some stuff is going to happen to you. You won‚Äôt be able to plan for it, fit¬†it into your schedule,¬†or always have someone pick up the phone to guide you through it. You‚Äôre going to have to just rely on your intuition, the insights will come. Remember to go with the flow,¬†take it all in…glean lessons from it. Find the positive in¬†every¬†experience in life. You’ve got this.

Trust in yourself. Trust of yourself.

You know how to carry on…hold your head¬†high, shoulders back, you’re ready to take on the world again. Know that whatever decision you made, it was the right one. You‚Äôre here now, and you‚Äôre exactly where you need to be. Focus on that.

Everything that has happened has lead you to this moment. Don’t try to change anything. Things have worked out exactly as it should be. All the puzzle pieces fit, all the paths will align. All the people were meant to be. All the successes and failures and heartwarming and heartbreaking moments were all worth it. No regrets.

Please never stop holding on to HOPE. It will, at times, cause you pain, but it will also help you get through. I even hope you‚Äôre still naively optimistic about the world, if only because it’s better to have a bright outlook than spend the rest of life wallowing in cynicism. You are an ambassador of HOPE…people admire you and it’s important that you keep telling your stories and letting your light shine.

Screen Shot 2017-11-13 at 12.39.23 AM

You know what? I even want you to go through more hardships and struggles because the hardships make us learn and grow, not only about the world and other people, but about yourself as well. They turn us into a stronger and better person, and the adversities we overcome oftentimes become our best testimonies.

I’m sure you’ll figure out a few more things along the way, and I hope you keep asking questions. Lots of them. Your light shines brightly and I hope you hold that close to your heart…don’t let situations, or people for that matter, get you down or shake your purpose.

As you continue to age, you‚Äôll¬†become¬†even more phenomenal. Remember, the goal is to celebrate turning 100¬†(at least). Take a bite of something delicious and savor every moment. Enjoy what you have in each present moment. Just because it passes doesn‚Äôt mean it wasn‚Äôt powerful or important. And you‚Äôre not silly for believing in it…enjoy every¬†experience. Your eternal optimism and enthusiasm are contagious.

The Magnifying Glass

You learned what love really means and the lengths to which friendship can be tested (and lost). You learned how to treat your body well, and how to honor those around you. Don‚Äôt ever settle for the easy way‚ÄĒactually, don‚Äôt settle, period! Life is too short. ENJOY IT. ALL OF IT. Really embrace your greatness.

You will have enough time to do everything that you love. Be here now. Hug those around you. Ask them how they are doing, and lock eyes with them as they tell you…truly listen. Be present. Don’t be so busy searching for clues that you miss all the signs. The inexplicable sensation of true connection and understanding is the best feeling in the entire world. You‚Äôve got a lot of time. Your to-do list can wait.

Here’s a reminder of what you already know to be true…

Money is just a number. It comes and it goes. Love is the true currency.

Be who you are and who you want to be. Be the best you. Be gentle with yourself. Be messy sometimes. Let it all go. Embrace what you’re learning and cherish your experiences because they are divinely fated, truly. You were and are, have been and always will be yourself, and that is what matters above all.

Tell your children you love them…a lot. They are incredible humans and deserve to hear your praise, and often. You’ve raised your kids¬†right, spent time with them, taught them how to properly shake someone‚Äôs hand. You’ve instilled values in them, helped them set goals (both lofty and reasonable), and provided them with experiences, insight and have role-modelled to them the life skills to keep their moral compasses on the straight and narrow. Trust¬†that time will continue to massage their personalities and believe that above all else, they love you.

What YOU Focus on Expands

I promise to remain diligent and focused on designing my life so that I can…

Dream Bigger, because BIG dreams have more magic.

Cultivate AUTONOMY + LEGACY

Travel the world with Mike + Sara, paid for by my profession.

Be ruled by my heart, rather than my bank account.

Time LIBERTY to be present for my family.

Healthy Body. Healthy Mind.

PAID IN FULL. Always.

Consistently say YES YOU CAN to myself!

Create a strong blueprint.

Design a bulletproof future for those I LOVE.

Positive internal dialogue.

Show my family how to WIN!

Most importantly, remember that the current version of yourself loves you…

and that is not going to change.

Always remember that.

You‚Äôve got the most epic dogs, sweet friends, and an above average family. You are blessed to live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, and you‚Äôre in the best shape of your life thus far, so that‚Äôs great. You’ll love what’s to come!

Remember that crossroads are exciting…yet temporary. You been¬†handed a pretty full deck and¬†you survived…no, you’ve thrived. You always find a way. You are resilient and resourceful.

But you know, I hope you had some time for fun. Go…now, take a world class vacation…for you, from you, out of your sweet bank account. You‚Äôve earned it. Keep killing it. Like that 35-day cruise you took in 2015…go and explore, be a Curious Discoverer. Take time to fulfill your hearts deepest and most earnest desires. Nothing else matters.

Happiness is a choice

A few good life rules…

Pick up the phone. Make some plans. Get outside, even when the couch is calling. Camp in the woods. Build a fire. Have some wine. Stay up late. Climb a mountain. Netflix binge every once in a while. Go for a sail. Eat good food, prepared from scratch and made with love. Watch¬†live music. Travel abroad with someone you care about. Immerse yourself in a good book. Don’t be afraid to LOVE. Go to the movies by yourself. Let your creativity shine. Move your body. Give back. Write down your thoughts. Tell your stories. Tell others‚Äô stories. Listen.

Most importantly, I hope you look back on this time with so much love…and remember how uniquely spectacular you truly are.

img_5241

MKE6 | Because Science, that’s why!

I was at the doctor the other day, undergoing a battery of standard [read: boring] tests for my memory and cognitive capacity. I’m talking about 2-full days of mind-numbingly boring tests, yet when the doctors asked how I was doing – my answer was consistently “Great!” or “That’s the most fun I’ve had all day!”. Sincerely.

 

In my life and around my home, I’ve talked a lot about being HAPPY, always. Being positive and agreeable and easy to be around…perhaps it’s because my ColorCode is pretty evenly split between White/Yellow/Blue…meaning I have quite an agreeable personality…doesn’t mean I’m a Yes-Man…means I’m easy to get along with, and subsequently, get along with nearly everyone pretty easily as well.

Continue reading “MKE6 | Because Science, that’s why!”

MKE5 | My JENNERGY

I realize now that it’s really more how I am IN the Universe, rather than what I am TO the Universe that matters most.

My destiny is a lot more about the Universe’s plan for me, for my life, rather than my plan for the Universe…

The brilliance of the Master Key System, especially this week [WEEK5], confirms that the more I read, the more evidence I discover to support living by a code rather than a direct course of action.

Continue reading “MKE5 | My JENNERGY”

MKE4 | [audible gasp] 

Would it be alright with you if I ask you a question? Are the peptides that tell our brains to produce collagen – our Fountain of Youth – the same peptides (or similar?) that wire our brains and determine if we associate positive or negative emotions to situations?

Is that why happy people look so young?¬†enter [audible gasp]…

Perhaps working well under pressure is simply another way of glorifying the habit of procrastination. Actually, that’s exactly what that is…and what its not is something to be celebrated. It’s a bad habit and as Og Mandino reminds us, we are slaves to our habits.

The good news?

We can CHOOSE which habits to become slaves to!

Except that we often don’t.

Until I knew that the subconscious mind makes all the decisions, I didn’t know it was less than ideal to simply ‘go with the flow’, or that I was actually addicted to the ignorance?!

Procrastination perpetuates the addiction because thriving¬†from¬†the RUSH of being rushed, literally causes a chemical reaction in my brain.¬†For me, completing¬†tasks in a nearly-impossible time frame was a rush. And a super bad habit. One that wasn’t serving me.

Working well under pressure is simply secret code for an addiction to the peptides we repeatedly attached to feelings.

Continue reading “MKE4 | [audible gasp]¬†“